TF2 Announcer
This mod was previously completed for Vanilla, though as a much less complex system. It's on hold to be remade from scratch, and until HMM has been finished.
STORY
Just another day in the Frontier. All day every day, taking out hordes of the Remnant Fleet and whatever mercenary groups show up, it's a wonder how there's any left of either of them. The squad of pilots is looking for a small change of pace, so they decide to set a campfire for the night.
While spending the night relaxing, something strange happens. In the night sky, they see a meteor shower. These aren't too uncommon on the Frontier, but the strange thing about this one is that the meteors didn't burn up. They continued falling towards the surface, dozens seeming to crash land not far from the campsite. Naturally, a few decide to go investigate the area.
Eventually they reach the crash site. There within a small crater, they see... a crate. At the front of this strange metal crate, there's a screen. It reads:
After profusely sweating for a couple of seconds, the closest pilot decides to press "Yes". After making some harsh loud noises, the slot under the screen prints out a piece of paper. It reads:
Greetings, advanced alien race from the future!
We are Mann Co.! You may remember us from our incredible, new-aged, not-even-remotely outdated technology, the Killstreak Kit! (Hopefully you do, we tried shooting these out in the same general direction.)
Not long after throwing out our vast quantity of killstreak kits and subsequent regret of throwing out our vast quantity of killstreak kits, we went back to the drawing board. The eggheads warned us hundreds of times "It is absolutely improbable anyone will retrieve those kits. Even if it manages to land on a planet with sentient life, it will almost certainly be destroyed in the atmosphere." If you're like us, you noticed a shocking lack of the word impossible in that statement!
With that, we decided to do it again! The idea of our equipment happening to land on a planet of aliens who also understand English, and proceeding to do it a second time, is too exciting of a possibility to pass up!
Now we know what you're thinking, "DUUUUHH, WHAT COULD POOOOOSSIBLY BE MORE AMAZING THAN YOUR FREAKING AWESOME UNIVERSAL KILLSTREAK KITS?? YOU MUST BE PULLING MY LEG BUSTER!!" Well, we've got a surprise for you!
Inside this top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art crate fashioned out of our patent-pending New Zealium, you will recieve the following amazing objects of infinite power:
Our classic, Universal Killstreak Kit, back with a vengeance in a brand new style!
Our new, and simply breathtaking, Universal Strangifier! Increase your weapon's grade using the blood of your enemies!
An AI construct of our beloved Administrator, who will help encourage you in crushing your foes! She can even belittle you in your failures, talk about infinite possiblities!
An XP Tracker, with those numbers going up for every little action you do, which we know is universally loved by anyone, despite how utterly meaningless it truly is!
A ConTracker, our new-age system for giving our boys something to do while out in the field!
A Voice Modulator, to hear and re-enact the intensely comedic misadventures of our favorite Gravel War mercenaries!
That's right! We went from 1 things to... uh, 6 things!
Unfortunately for you puny and probably ugly alien lifeforms, we simply cannot consistently ship rewards to you from space. We tried adding a 3D Printer to the crate, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble!
As such, we've reprogrammed our ConTracker to dish out meaningless rewards, like more XP! Don't worry, we see you completionist aliens in the crowd, rest assured we'll make sure you suffer for that 110% completion!
Killstreak Kit Overview
Strangifier Overview
Administrator Overview
XP Tracker Overview
We bet you like seeing numbers go up! And we also bet you like seeing the smaller numbers also go up based on the bigger numbers! And we also ALSO bet you like it when those smaller numbers have names attached to them. And we also ALSO SORTA bet that you like those smaller numbers having even smaller numbers attached to those once the not so small but still small numbers reach the point in which they max out! Well then, welcome to our XP System!
You get XP by killing chumps on the enemy team. Don't worry, those red (or blue (or yellow (maybe even green?))) jerks totally deserved it, their sacrifice for your numbers is worth it. (hmm, they could also be purple (definitely not orange though))
This system is largely out of the way, and only notifies you when you level up. Using our interface system that comes with the ConTracker, you can check all of your current stats in every field.
To summarize levels, they go from 1-150. After leveling out of 150, you hit Tier 2 Level 1. This eventually caps at Tier 10 Level 150. Sounds like a waste of time, and it is! As a pity prize though, you'll gain XP 10% faster for each Tier completed! Woohoo!
ConTracker Overview
Voice Modulator Overview
We've got 9 fantastic voices for you to use as you're destroying your enemies! Hard to choose? No matter! By default, the voice modulator will automatically choose a voice based on whatever Primary Weapon you have equipped! Neat!
Don't care for that? You can also choose to have a random voice any time you "respawn" (whatever that means), choose a specific voice, or not use it at all! The power is in your hands!
Additionally...
Oh we actually forgot something, a 7th item in our crate! A new aged device that automatically plays "mp3s" for music or sound effects based on the current situation! Basically, it's like every other device in the crate! Specifically though, it can do these things (all optional of course):
Whenever someone in your area gets a collateral kill, a very loud noise will play to notify you of it occuring. Hopefully it doesn't scare you too hard!
Whenever you start your mission or the mission ends, music can play!
Special music will also play if you just so happen to be doing some non-specific wave defense type mode against, and I'm just spitballing here, hordes of weaker enemies as you stop them from getting to some central point!
We hope you enjoy our equipment! No refunds!
- Mann Co.
P.S. We need to clarify this part again as well, just in case it actually happens, again.
In the event that these kits are discovered by humans far into the future after colonizing space, please return the crate and its contents to the address below:
242 Saxton Avenue, Badlands, New Mexico, 87105
In the event that the humans and/or aliens reading this do not understand English, please disregard this message, all previous messages, and the contents within the crate.
After the overly long, quite wordy, and downright unnecessary paper is finally done printing from the slot, the pilot only gets a few moments to read it before the comically large lock on the crate releases, unchaining it and revealing the box's contents. It seems there's 10 or so of 7 different items within the crate, certainly enough for everyone if they felt like using the equipment.
After the group uses their titan to return several of the large crates to their campsite, they all come to an agreement.
The next morning, they spend their time seeing who can chuck the useless crates furthest using their titans. Steve claims his actually left orbit, but we don't believe Steve, because he tends to lie a lot.
Fuck you Steve.
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